Fidelis
by Jaremie-poo
Summary: Severus saves Harry on the battlefield after the final battle. They form a friendship which evolves into waaaaay more. HPSS SLASH Warnings Mpreg.
1. Chapter 1

**Fidelis **

This is a 'bedtime story' for my best friend (whom I call Moonsie). It's whole purpose is to be fluffy and make you squeal.  
It's a HP/SS romance story, but rated T for mpreg (A/N; this should be an official word!) later on.  
SLASH! )

Save Me

Flashback

Severus looked around, the sky was grey and the earth was red. It really looked like the end of the world. The ground was littered with bodies whose empty eyes stared into nowhere. In the middle of the field there was a huge crater, a gaping black hole in the earth, which the death, no say explosion of the Dark Lord had caused.

The obsidian eyes of the last death eater observed how survivors helped others or mourned by the corpses of their loved ones. All of a sudden he saw an arm moving. He recognised the deep scar on the inside of the limp and ran to the other end of the crater. There, in a pool of his own blood, was not other than Harry Potter. His eyes were closed and his face was wrenched into a mask of pain. His eyes swollen from the tears that streamed over his face as he fought for every breath.

In a mere second,****Severus had his wand pointed at Harry's chest, ready to do some serious healing, when he heard Harry whisper: "Don't, please don't."

"Harry, it's alright, I'm just going to heal you, -" Severus stopped in the middle of his sentence when he felt thick drops falling from the sky. He quickly took of his cloak and covered up the shivering Harry. He saw that Harry was about to pass out, so he whispered: "Shh… Harry, go to sleep, close you eyes. I'll protect you." And if Harry hadn't passed out, he would have heard the last words: "I always will, I swear."

And in all the chaos no one saw how Severus gently lifted Harry up and carried the wounded hero to the castle.

Harry slowly opened his eyes. _"I'll protect you."_ Snape, Snape had saved him. He slowly sat up. He wasn't in pain anymore, only the mild discomfort of having several healing spells healing him and at the same time tapping his body's energy still ruled his body. With a mild shock he noticed that he wasn't clothes anymore, only his boxers had remained. Pulling up the silky green sheets to cover up his bear chest, he slowly looked around. The walls were done in beige, there was a big chestnut desk with above it… a huge silken carpet of the Slytherin logo. The dark green silver lined bed sheets and draping confirmed Harry's suspicions. He was in the personal bedroom of the one and only Severus Snape, who was, unknown to Harry, standing in the doorway, looking at Harry's shock with a blank face, but amusement in his eyes.

"Well, took you quite a while, Potter."

Severus looked even more amused at the amazingly fast turn combined with pulling up the sheets even further that Harry made.

"You… you saved me…"

"Yes, I did."

"Why… why did you save me?" Harry was surprised when Severus didn't answer, so he jumped to his next question. "Why did you undress me?" he asked with an angry voice that he hoped covered up his embarrassment.

"Well, because, my dear Potter," defence meganism one: sarcasm, "you had a wonderful one inch deep gash in your chest, I didn't carry you all the way here just to let you ruin my wonderful bed sheets with your blood."

Harry gasped, Snape had carried him… God, this was getting more embarrassing by the moment, so he asked the last question, just to get it over and done with: "Why did you call me Harry?"

Severus looked like Harry had slapped him in the face, but the quickly recovered and said in his best sarcastic voice, "Potter, I imagined you didn't want the last thing you heard to be called Potter."

_Strange, _Harry thought, _why am I disappointed?_

Harry hadn't even noticed he had fallen asleep when he woke again. And as if he knew he was awake, Severus walked into the room. "Harry, I've some really bad news… Your friends, Mr. Weasley and Ms.Granger… they didn't make it."

Severus' heart broke when he heard Harry whisper: "Why did you save me?"

"Why did you plead me not to?"

Harry looked up to Severus, his emerald eyes had no light in them and loneliness was the only thing to be seen.

"Cause I have nothing left," he said, his voice breaking in mid-sentence, and Severus spoke the following words from his heart: "You can always come to me."

End Flashback

This is how they became friends, with Harry often visiting Severus for afternoon tea and friendly talk. There were times when they'd talk about Harry's studies (he studied to be a healer), potions, the weather or simply sat together in the cosy living room, reading or playing chess, only moving to grab their cups of hot chocolate or to turn the page. There were meetings where not word was said, but that left them both feeling strangely comforted. On cold winter nights, Harry would sometimes fall asleep on Severus' couch, and Severus would cover him up with a warm blanket, knowing that Harry didn't sleep well in the loneliness of his own cold rooms. Severus would watch Harry sleep for hours, making Harry feel safe and keeping his promise to protect him always.

Severus thought about all these things as he stalked through the dungeons. He was worried; Harry hadn't come to see him for days, five days straight, to be precise. Normally he would visit him every second day, twice in weekends to enjoy a good wine on Saturday nights.

He suddenly stopped in front of his rooms, something wasn't right. He quickly got out his wand and slowly pushed the portrait open. He scanned the room, twice as alert as normally. Something just wasn't right, many years of spying had taught him to trust his guts, so he stood in the middle of the room, ready to defend himself or attack if necessary.

He whipped around , his movement caused by a sobbing sound from his bedroom. Still in attack position, he moved to the door. He kicked it open, and he was met with what he found the most heartbreaking view.

Harry was curled up on his bed, crying softly, his tenger body shaking with each sob. Severus dropped his wand and flew to the bed. He shook Harry softly.

"Harry, Harry, look at me…" Harry raised his head a bit, tears still leaking out of his eyes. "Harry, tell me what's wrong." Harry just stared at him and Severus began to panick, "Harry, tell me what's wrong, Harry, you're scaring me!"

Harry whispered something non-understandable. "Harry, you have to speak up a bit."

"…I'm gay…" he whispered and burst into tears again. Severus did what he thought was the right thing and took Harry in his arms. "Shhh… Harry, it's alright…" he whispered in Harry's ear. Harry looked at Severus, dumbfounded. "You don't hate me?"

"I could never hate you."

Harry looked at him like he didn't believe his words. "Then answer me one question: why did you save me?"

Severus didn't answer, instead he walked out of the room, but Harry, who had followed him, forced him to turn around with his voice.

"Why, Severus, why did you save me?"

"Because I love you," Severus said with a sigh, while closing his eyes.

"Why are you closing your eyes?"

"I'm waiting for the sound of you slamming the door shut behind you as you walk out of my life." (A/N; My heart breaks every time I read this…that's weird considering I came up with it myself. Although it was probably just to make my best friend squeal.)

When the sound didn't come, Severus opened his eyes and asked: "Why didn't you want me to save you?"

After a moment of silence Harry answered: "Cause I never though you could love me back."

All of a sudden, Severus' face turned into a stone mask and he spoke with so much venom and hurt in his voice that Harry couldn't imagine what pain he felt: "Stop messing with me, Potter."

"I'm not messing with you."

"Prove it."

It actually didn't surprise Harry very much that Severus needed more insurance than the words of a 17-year old.

"_Accio secret shoebox_."

When the box landed in his hands, he opened it and took out his most precious possession. He saw Severus raising his eyebrows, but took the picture out of his hands without a word. Severus gasped when he saw the picture. It was him, after one of the most painful Occlumency lessons. Harry had repelled him out of his mind with such force that he had crashed into the wall. On this picture he looked incredibly beaten and did not look scary at all. He looked from Harry to the picture, and back.

"You had this picture, but you never gave it to the Weasley twins, or published it?"

"No," Harry said quietly. "Isn't that prove enough?"

Severus' face softened and a small smile formed on his lips as he took Harry's head between his hands. "Just one more little thing, " he whispered as he slowly leaned into Harry. Gathering the younger man into his arms, he softly pressed his lips to Harry's. They both felt a tingling sensation and Harry put his arms around Severus' neck, while Severus deepened the kiss by opening his mouth a little bit. His tongue asked entrance by slowly licking Harry's lips. They both shivered the moment their tongues touched as they engaged in a slow sensual but passionate battle, only parting when their need for air became greater than the need for the touch of one other.

When they were once again out of breath, Harry asked: "Why did you think I was messing with you or leaving you?"

"Because I never met anyone who didn't," Severus said, taking Harry's hands in his and slowly walking to the couch. He sat down and Harry positioned his head in Severus' lap. They sat a while in a comfortable silence while Severus stroked Harry's hair. He was about to say something when he saw that Harry had fallen asleep. He gently lifted him up and carried him into the bedroom. He softly kissed him on his forehead. He was about to leave the room when he heard Harry's sleep voice "Please, stay."

"Of course, Harry," he said moving to sit in the comfortable chair he had installed there just a few weeks earlier.

"No," Harry said, and he patted on the space in the bed next to him, "please stay with me."

So Severus shrugged of his T-Shirt and pants and laid next to Harry. Harry turned around so that he was facing him. He curled in to the protecting arms that Severus offered and gently put his head on Severus' chest. On the rhythm of their steady heartbeats, they fell asleep, with a wonderful smile on their faces.

Okay, that was it, I'm gonna post the next chap in approximately 1-2 weeks.  
Beware of some serious fluff in this whole story…actually that's the main purpose.


	2. Chapter 2

Severus awoke to the sensation of someone staring at him. He smiled at the warmth and amazing cosy feeling of holding his young love in his arms.

"I can feel you staring at me," he said. Still smiling, he slowly opened his eyes. He stared right back into Harry's amazing emerald eyes.

"Good morning, my sleeping beauty," Harry said with a warm smile.

Severus couldn't help but snort at the "beauty" part.

"Don't you give me that," Harry said playful. "You," he said, putting a finger on Severus' chest, "are beautiful."

Severus smiling face turned into one of shock as he quickly covered up his scarred chest. "Don't lie to me, Harry, it makes it hurt even more."

"What?" Harry asked, shocked by this fast swing of moods.

"The moment that you realize that you made a huge mistake, the moment you realise I am not beautiful like yourself, but just an old scarred soul and body. The moment… where you realize I could never measure up to the standards of your society," he ended with a sigh. It was clear that he did not intent to continue the conversation, because he got out of bed and walked to the bathroom, leaving Harry with absolutely no idea what he'd done wrong. Seconds later, Harry heard the shower running and got out of the bed, that felt all of a sudden very cold without Severus beside him.

He shrugged on some sweatpants that he'd forgotten a few weeks ago when he'd had his own little slumber party on Severus' couch and just flooed to his own rooms. He didn't bother for a shirt, since Severus kept his rooms at a very acceptable temperature (for the fact that they were in the dungeons). He went to the kitchen and began to prepare breakfast.

Meanwhile, Severus stood in the shower, thinking over the conversation. He regretted what he'd said, but it just was a touchy subject. He never had been nice to look at, which his rivals in school didn't hide. One other time he'd been called beautiful, and that particular prank had left him so heartbroken that now he had convinced himself that those words spoken to him could never be meant. Until he saw the look on Harry's face, he had turned around in the bathroom and peeked though the door before he shut it. Harry had looked truly lost and regretting, but also clueless of what he'd done wrong. He'd decided that Harry had meant it when he saw his young love stroking the space where moments before Severus had been.

Severus got out of the shower and put on some pants and a dark blue T-shirt. On his way out of the bathroom, he stopped to look into the mirror, and unlike he expected, there wasn't a cranky old man looking back, but a relaxed looking- in his late thirties looked back and smiled at him. His eyes were shining, his face wasn't pulled into a mask, but had nice manly curves. His silky soft hair framed his face just as much to make his nose look smaller and his skin a light, but definitely glow.

With a new found confidence he walked into the living room, just in time to see Harry balancing two heavy loaded plates in his hands. Severus walked up to him, took the plates out of his hands while faintly noticing a very mouth-watering smell.

He put them on the table and turned back, to Harry, who had noticed Severus' smile and smiled back. Severus gently put his arms around Harry and laid his forehead against Harry's.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

Harry's smile got even wider, which on it's turn made Severus' eyes gleam with happiness.

"You really are beautiful," Harry whispered.

"And I'm glad you think so," Severus managed to say before he caught Harry's lips in a sweet make-up kiss. After they had parted and smiles ensuring to one another, Harry sat down and Severus finally realised that Harry had made him his favourite breakfast, so he put his arms around Harry from behind and gave him a sweet kiss on his check.

"Thank you, Harry, thank you," he said, and only a tiny part was for the breakfast. "For being you, and loving me," he whispered with his mouth in Harry's hair.

Maybe it wasn't meant to be, but Harry heard him, which was only reflected in his shining eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

Just like every other night of the past week, Harry and Severus cuddled together in bed, but tonight both pairs of lips lingered a little longer on their goodnight-kiss. Harry turned to lie on his back as their kiss turned into a more passionate one. Harry moaned at the sensation of their bare chests rubbing together. Severus moved from his mouth, over Harry's jaw, where he earned another moan from Harry. Moving on to Harry's chest he silently admired the young beauty under him. He licked around Harry's bellybutton in the shape of a heart, while he noticed satisfied that Harry was arching his back to get closer to his touch. Harry squealed as Severus dipped his tongue into his partner's bellybutton. When Severus licked the skin at the edge of Harry's boxers and was about to pull them down, he heard Harry whisper: "Stop."

Severus froze. He looked up and immediately crawled to Harry's side when he saw that the emerald eyes that didn't look him straight in the eye were moist. He gently put his arms around Harry and whispered in his ear; "Harry, what's wrong?"

Harry didn't answer, but flung his arms around Severus' neck and buried his head in Severus' chest. Severus waited and stroked the Gryffindor's back to comfort him.

He felt, rather than heard Harry take a deep breath before he pulled back and faced Severus.

"I… I'm st-still a virgin," he stuttered.

"Oh, Harry, I'm sorry I didn't ask you," Severus said, and after a moment he asked: "Are you scared?"

"Scared that I won't be good enough for you," Harry answered.

"I love you, Harry, and you'll always be more than good enough toe me. "

"I love you too, Severus, so, so much."

"I know, Harry, I know," Severus whispered before he kissed Harry's forehead and pulled him on his chest. In the warmth and comfort they both fell asleep quickly.

The next evening they lay together in their usual position, with Harry's head on Severus' chest.

Severus was lost in thoughts until he felt the soft tips of Harry's fingers stroking his chest. He looked down and saw that Harry was tracing each scar that had taken it's place on Severus' chest, with the utmost care.

"Where did you get this one?" Harry asked, tracing one of the larger scars, one that went all the way from the lower parts of his ribcage to his pelvic bone.

"That was from a heavy raid," Severus said, tortured by the memory. "Voldemort recruited half of the children in a house for homeless children."

"And this one?" Harry continued.

It took a while 'till Severus answered with a soft voice.

"I got that one the night your parents were killed."

"Oh," said Harry in a small whisper while he traced the scar a second time.

"What about this one?"

Again, Severus took a moment before he answered.

"Your father stabbed me and with that he saved my life, he knew I was a spy, but keeping me alive would have blown my position so he stabbed me with a knife charmed by your mother to not kill me." He stopped for a moment before whispering the last part. "It was the scar that reminded me every day of the bravery and loyalty of the Gryffindor House. I despised it."

Harry was surprised by the honesty with which Severus answered his question, so he asked his last question. "Where did you get the scars on the place where your mark used to be?"

This time it took Severus even longer to answer and when he did, his hoarse whisper told the story of the tears that had formed in his eyes.

"The night where Voldemort tortured a little girl to death I realised what a monster he was and I tried to cut the mark out of my arm."

Harry felt the pain of his love and felt his own eyes water as well. He took Severus' limp arm in his hands and laid his soft check against it. He cried hot tears on the scar tissue, for his love, and for the pain that others had done to him. He fell asleep soon after Severus had put his arms around him, still with Severus' arm in his hands, protecting his love's pain and letting him know that he was always there for him.

When Severus walked into his chambers, he saw that Harry already sat on the couch and his face showed that he was brooding on something.

"Hey, my love," Severus greeted him.

Harry smiled, "Hey you back," he said, before giving Severus a sweet kiss, who asked; "What are you brooding on?"

"Beside about how insanely I'm in love with you?"

Severus couldn't help but grin.

"Well, I had an idea: wanna play ten questions?"

"Harry, the whole day I'm surrounded by kids and now you want me to play Ten Questions?" Severus groaned, he couldn't resist Harry's pouting face anyway. "Fine, but I'll grab some tea first."

When Severus came back, Harry was almost jumping up and down.

"I start!" he said, grinning, and the excitement shining in his voice and eyes. They both positioned themselves on opposite sides of the couch, pulling their legs up and sipping at their tea.

"Ok. What's your favourite dessert?"

Severus smiled. "Ice-cream."

"Favourite flavour?"

"Sneaky bastard, those are two questions. My turn. Ok… hm, what's your favourite colour?"

"Surprisingly, green."

"Ok, now to your second question; caramel and chocolate."

"Ah, you're a real sweetie."

"Watch it, I know some very painful spells."

"Yeah, ok, ok." Harry held his hands up in a surrendering gesture. "Your turn."

"Ah, did you, Harry Potter, steal the gillyweed from my ingredients stock?"

"No!"

"Your sure?"

"Two questions! How long have you liked me?" Harry asked all of a sudden, not looking at Severus.

"I have "liked" you since your fifth year, but I've loved you since your sixth." Before Harry could react, Severus asked: "Why are you still a virgin?"

"Because I started liking you at the start of my fifth year, so I never even thought about a relationship," said Harry with a soft voice, his eyes never meeting Severus', and his dace was red of his embarrassment.

"Why are you embarrassed of still being pure?" Severus asked.

"Because I'm afraid that I'll do something terribly wrong, and I don't want to disappoint you."

"You could only disappoint me by letting that fear rule you," Severus said before pulling Harry in his arms and kissing him ensuringly, their game forgotten.

Later that night they cuddled together in bed. Harry lay, once again, with his head on Severus' chest. He slowly began to stroke Severus' chest. He heard that Severus' heartbeat was speeding up, and he knew that his love was suppressing a moan, afraid that this might make feel pressured, but when Harry started licking his nipples Severus couldn't control himself. A loud moan escaped Severus' lips. Severus was almost certain that Harry had stopped, when he felt Harry press a kiss right on his chest where his heart beat. He felt that Harry was smiling when he moaned again.

Harry kissed his way down to Severus' bellybutton, and then licked his way up to his jaw, and ended with a seductive lick over his lips. Severus opened his mouth to moan, and Harry took this opportunity to turn the lick into a passionate kiss.

Still kissing, Severus flopped Harry around and took control. He mirrored Harry's movement and earned several moans. Only Severus didn't lick his way up again. After spoiling the skin around Harry's bellybutton, he teasingly licked the skin just above the edge of Harry's boxers. He went down to Harry's thighs, careful not to touch Harry's boxers or the bulge that had formed in them. He ever so slowly licked and kissed his way of Harry's thighs and ignored the squealing, begging moans that Harry produced, now even more frequently.

Severus hooked his thumbs under the waistband of the boxers, and looked at Harry who was looking at him with trusting eyes.

"Harry, are you sure?"

"More than ever," said Harry, his voice turning into a long moan as Severus slowly pulled down his boxers. Ending at his feet, throwing the boxers behind him, Severus kissed and licked his way up again. Harry's moans got more urgent and ended in a small "Oh"-cry the moment Severus took Harry in his mouth.

"Feels so good," were the only words Harry managed to say before his hips bucked up to meet Severus' talented tongue. Severus held Harry's hips in the mattress while doing some amazing stuff with his mouth. He nibbled, licked and sucked so deliciously, that Harry thought the might go insane. "Can't… ah… hold any longaaah…" Harry managed to choke out, and just a second before he was about so come, Severus stopped. Harry let out a protesting moan, and Severus grinned; youth really had no patience.

"_Accio lubrication._" Severus caught the bottle that came flying towards him. He put some on his fingers and blew the liquid to make it a bit warmer. He then slowly traced his lubricated finger over Harry's member, towards the puckered hole. He gently slid one finger in, and felt that Harry tensed, but relaxed just as quickly again. After twisting his finger a few times, he gently slid in a second digit. This time, he heard a small moan of pain, but it turned into a pleasured one after he had scissored his fingers a bit to stretched the opening. He hit Harry's sweet spot expertly, and then quickly slid in a third finger. This time, it took longer for Harry top relax, but after hitting that particular spot a few times more, Harry also got used to the three fingers that were slowly exiting, re-entering and twisting in his body.

Severus pulled out his fingers who were accompanied by a disappointed noise. He generously lubricated his own rock-hard member and put the tip against Harry's opening. One last look into Harry's eyes ensured him that this was what Harry wanted, and he slowly pushed forward. He stopped halfway when he felt Harry's muscled tighten, and saw the tears in Harry's eyes. He leaned forward and took Harry's head between his hands.

"Shh… Harry, relax, it will hurt less," he whispered. Harry nodded bravely and said that Severus could move again, but when he did, Harry cried out in pain. Severus waited patiently and stroked Harry's check, who was breathing deeply and trying to relax. Severus kissed Harry's lips sweetly, Harry answered the kiss and soon the kiss was so passionate, that Harry didn't feel Severus moving all the way in. Severus broke the kiss and nibbled at Harry's earlobe, one hand stroking the side of Harry's body. Harry's hips bucked, his arousement back at the movements of Severus' hand and the licking over a very sensitive spot behind his ear. That's when Harry noticed that Severus' and his won body were fused together, Severus buried all the way in Harry's body. Severus moaned at Harry's movement, the muscles surrounding him were so incredibly.

"You're ok again?" he whispered in Harry's ear. He felt Harry's nod, and pulled out slowly, moaning when he pushed back into the warm tightness of his young lover. When he'd done this a couple of times, Harry began to respond to his movements, slowly raising his hips to meet Severus' thrusts. They both picked up speed as they felt their climaxes approach. Severus changed his angle a bit so he was hitting the right spot with every thrust. Harry's moans became cries every time that he felt Severus hitting that spot, sending waves of pleasure through his body. Harry noticed that Severus' thrusts were getting frantic and his breath shallow. Changing the angle one last time, Severus hit Harry's sweet spot with full force, and Harry cried Severus' name in release. Harry's tightening muscles caused Severus to lose control as he tumbled into his climax with a hoarse cry.

Severus opened his eyes, and smiled as he thought about last night's events. He looked down at a peaceful smiling Harry, whose half long black hair was spread over the pillow. The soft face, the rosy lips and the long eyelashes made him look like an angel. Severus'; personal angel.

Harry groaned as Severus licked over the lips of his just awakening beauty. Just as Severus was about to pull back, Harry opened his eyes and attacked Severus' lips.

When they pulled back, their lips were reddened from the pressure and their eyes were shining even brighter.

"Good morning, my love."

"A very good morning," Harry grinned. He felt truly in heaven, his body was totally relaxed and he felt like his chest was exploding from love for the man he had given his virginity to.

Severus was massaging Harry's back, and stroked his hair, he stopped and snapped his fingers and a tray appeared. Harry sat up.

"Oh, yummy, breakfast in bed."

"Yes-"

Severus stopped when he saw that Harry had picked up the rose he had let Dobby serve on Harry's plate.

"It's charmed to never die."

Harry gave his love a long, throughout kiss.

"Severus, you have no idea how much that means to me… I love you so much."


	4. Chapter 4

2 months later

Harry got up in record time and sprinted to the bathroom, where he soundly vomited into the toilet. Severus wasn't far behind, and with a shocked face he rubbed circles over Harry's back who was emptying his whole stomach contents. He handed Harry a wet, cold towel which Harry took with gratitude.

"Harry, it seems like you caught the flu, you should stay in bed for a couple of days. I'll make you something light to eat if you think you can handle it?"

"Thanks, maybe some soup, but nothing heavy."

Severus kissed Harry's head and went to the kitchen.

This began to form a routine, but when Harry still wasn't improving after a week, Severus started to worry.

"Maybe you should see Madame Pomfrey about this."

"You think?"

"Yeah, just to be sure that you're not dying." Severus made an attempt to joke, just to lighten the mood, but it seemed to have the opposite effect, so he didn't try again.

When Severus got to his chambers, he found Harry shifting nervously on the couch.

"Harry, is something wrong? What did Madame Pomfrey say?"

Harry was quiet for a moment, before he asked Severus: "You love me, right?"

"Of course I do."

"And you'll stay with me no matter what?"

"Yes, Harry, please tell me what's wrong."

It was quiet for a minute, but then Harry whispered: "I'm pregnant."

Severus was in shock, he just stared, looking at Harry, no, say, _staring_, his mouth a bit open. He couldn't make sense of his thoughts, they just kept on coming. He just sat there. He didn't move when Harry called his name, and he didn't move when Harry went to bed.

Finally, after a while, he moved. He walked to the kitchen and splashed some water in his face.

While Severus stood there in the kitchen, Harry lay in bed, thinking about what Pomfrey had said: "Only two really powerful wizards can conceive a baby. Only truly powerful ones, Mister Potter. It's really a miracle."

He understood Severus' reaction, he had been shocked too, but when he stroked the tiny little bump that had formed in hid belly, he couldn't help but smile, because it somehow felt right.

He pretended to be asleep when Severus walked into the room. He was disappointed when Severus just lay next to him, but then he felt Severus move; he was turning towards him. Then, very faintly, he felt Severus' hand on his belly. Severus' hand was stroking softly, you could almost say lovingly, the bump.

"Hey, my little gift from heaven," Severus whispered to Harry's belly, and then he pressed a tender kiss, almost as if it were breakable on the skin under which their child was growing.

"Goodnight, my angel," he whispered to Harry and also pressed a tender kiss on his forehead.

When Harry heard Severus' breath even out, Harry turned away and cried silent tears of joy.

Severus woke up spooned to Harry's back, his hand on Harry's belly which was covered by Harry's own hands. Harry's eyes moved under his eyelids and slowly opened them., He looked over his shoulder at Severus, who had moist eyes. His hand was rubbing slow circles over Harry's belly.

"I love you," he whispered to Harry, and then very softly he whispered it again, looking at his hand on Harry's belly.

Harry, after he turned around, kissed Severus slowly, and sweetly, knowing that this was Severus' way of apologizing and telling Harry that he was happy with their child. His next words made that even more clear.

"My two gifts from heaven."

And it was only that Severus had hidden behind a mask for so long and still wasn't used to showing emotions, that he didn't cry.

_I'm very sorry that this chap is so short. I got some more written by hand already, but no time to type it out and post it.  
After all the tests that I have to do in school this week I hope that I'll find some time to type the rest and to write more. _


	5. Chapter 5

"But I'm stuffed!" Harry exclaimed pointing at his still half-full plate.

"Harry, you're forgetting that you're feeding two bodies now. You must eat enough."

This simple dialogue was enough to make Harry angry. He had a really hard time with the hormones that his body wasn't used to.

"Why are you always so pushy?!" he yelled.

"I'm not pushy, I'm persistent."

"Ow, I guess that 'persistency' really is a deatheater quality!" he screamed at Severus.

Severus' face lost all it's blood, and his features hardened, his eyes which shone just minutes before were deadly glaring black holes. He got up in a swift motion, and if it would have been any other person it would have been called running, stalked out of the rooms and slammed the door behind him.  
Harry fell on his knees and cried, his tears resembling the enormous guilt he felt.

1 Week later

The doors of the hospital wing flew open and Severus stalked in.

"Pomfrey, where is he, what happened, is he all right, is the baby OK?!!!" he bellowed in her face.

"Mister Snape, I demand some self-control in this hospital wing. Harry is all right, and the baby is fine, so STOP stressing! Harry had a serious emotional breakdown. He felt guilty to death about something. He's now resting."

Harry lay in bed and heard the whole conversation.

"Oh God, it's all my fault. I could've killed them…my angels"

Severus sat down in shock on the chair that Pomfrey conjured for him.

"Oh god…" he whispered over and over again.

Harry heard him whisper and his heart broke all over again. But he finally fell asleep with the though that they were going to make it trough this still fresh in his mind.

Two days later Harry was released from the hospital wing. He and Severus walked next to each other , but a four feet apart down the corridors. Their cloaks billowing in the same way, and their emotions both hidden behind a rather blank face. Once they were in the rooms both sat down on the couch on different sides. They both didn't know what to say, how to apologize, to say they were sorry and wanted to start over again. Harry looked at his hands that were both stroking his belly, and dared to look up at his beloved. There were the black pools that told the story of longing to be a part of it too. Harry reached out and took Severus' hand, he softly placed the hand on his stomach and covered it with his own.  
Relief spread over the potion master's face and he whispered.

"I'm so sorry…I, I love you"

Their hand locked over their child, and just before their lips locked in the sweetest make-up kiss Harry whispered.

"I love you more"

Severus awoke with a start, he bit back a scream at the image caught before his eyes. Cold sweat ran down his face and his hands were trembling. Knowing he wouldn't fall asleep again anyway, he slid out of the bed and patted into the living room. He sat down and put his head in his trembling hands.

Harry opened his eyes at the missing warmth of his love. Still sleepy he stumbled into the living room, and didn't need much time to see something was wrong with Severus. He silently sat down next to him and waited, knowing that Severus would start talking when he was ready. Severus slowly looked up, his face twisted into a mask of pain, guilt and disgust.

"I didn't stop." He said with a voice full of self-loathing. "I heard her pleas, I heard her screams, heard her beg, and I didn't stop." He whispered, referring to the nightmare.

Harry sat quiet, not knowing what to do with this information. He only knew that he didn't like the tone of Severus' voice.

"You had to do it, Severus, by sacrificing her you saved thousands"

"No, if I could sacrifice her, what kind of father would I be?"

"You're going to be great Severus, please" Harry begged, but he saw the cold stoic mask slide over Severus' face, and as he turned to him, he saw that the eyes were blank, black holes which seemed to hold nothing but loathing.

"No Potter, I will not be great, because I will never be a father. You were right, I am a deatheater, and my deeds can not be undone."

With that he stood up and glared at Harry who had tears in his eyes.

"Don't cry Potter, it makes you look even more pathetic."

Harry fell down on his knees, tears streaming over his face. Gasping for breath as his hurting heart pressed all the air out of his lungs. All tough Severus felt just as broken as Harry, he hid it behind his best sneer and stormed out of the rooms, his sleeping clothes changing into his blackest robes as he walked out of the door.


End file.
